COUSINS?
by I'llDieLaughingAtYou
Summary: Kirihara Akaya meets his cousin one day. This is a CRACK yaoi story. It pretty much includes everyone. I wrote this story along with my friend Silent Slayer 2000. Funny but not much sense. There will be more chappies. T for swearing.


Poor Kirihara Akaya was being dragged along by his sempai's Niou Masaharu and Marui Bunta to god knows where and poor Akaya was not in a happy mood. Akaya was having a great day playing his new video game but Niou and Marui came along and dragged him out to some candy shop. Niou was still grumbling about not going to the Pranks shop and currently had a tight grip on Akaya's upper arm, making it impossible for escape. Marui was obliviously chatting to Akaya, unaware of the evil death glare Niou was shooting him.

"Sempai-" Both Niou and Marui turned to look at Akaya just to see him trip over a rock. Niou and Marui jaw dropped. The great Kirihara Akaya, second year ace of the Rikkaidai tennis team, trip over a rock?!?! "OW!!" Akaya shouted and glared at the ground he was now sitting on. Marui burst out laughing and almost choked on the gum he was chewing while Niou snickered and kneeled before the fallen kohai.

"See it is true Marui, people are always falling over me." Said Niou and took out his camera phone, snapping a quick picture before leaping up out of Akaya's reach. Akaya glared at Niou and then at Marui who was still coughing up his gum.

Mizuki caught a glimpse of his black haired cousin and smiled impishly. He stood up suddenly, scaring his teammates around him. "I'll be right back" He said and raced out the door. When he reached Akaya he noticed that two of the Rikkaidai regulars were surrounding him, talking. "Akaya!" Mizuki shouted. Akaya whirled around to see his older cousin waving at him. The other two Rikkaidai regulars turned around.

"Wow! Yukimura and Sanada are going out!" Niou pointed behind Mizuki. There, Sanada and Yukimura were walking out of a shop smiling and chatting. "Oi!!! Sanada-san!!!" Marui shouted.

"No...one...sees...me but Akaya..." Mizuki murmured. Akaya rolled his eyes at Mizuki and said,"Hajime-chan, stop whining." Mizuki smiled his usual smile and slung an arm around Akaya's shoulders. Everyone stared at the two.

"What? Is there something on my face?" Mizuki asked.

"Hajime-chan, you spend too much time on your face." Akaya said rolling his eyes for the second time.

"Pth...'Hajime-chan'? Nice nickname, dane." Mizuki glared at Yanagisawa and huffed slightly. Akaya snorted.

"Stop being such a drama queen Hajime-chan." Akaya said to his cousin who in return gasped and gained a kicked puppy look. Niou walked up to the two, "AKAYA, DID YOU KNOW THAT SANADA AND YUKIMURA ARE GOING OUT?" He shouted.

"OW. Don't yell so close to my ear!" Akaya said. Yukimura chuckled. Sanada glowed red, "Niou... run 10 laps around town!"

"Notice how he didn't deny it!" Laughed Marui.

Fuji Syuusuke and Tezuka Kunimitsu walked around the corner and saw everyone standing in a group. Tezuka turned and headed the other way but Fuji had grabbed his arm and was pulling him towards them."C'mon Kuni-chan. I want to see what they're doing." Fuji smiled his creepy smile and stepped into the little group. "Saa, what are all of you doing together like this?" Fuji smiled at the Akaya, thinking he was trapped next to Mizuki.

"Aniki, are you on a date?" Yuuta asked."N-" "Yes." Mizuki approached Fuji,"Well well well, if it isn't Fuji Syuusuke-kun... How nice to see you--" Fuji walked directly to his younger brother.

"Yuuta. How are you? What are you doing here?" Fuji asked.

"Fuji-kun... how about--"

"Why do I keep hearing this strange buzzing noise?" Fuji interrupted Mizuki. Mizuki stood there, his mouth open, his eyes wide. "Wha-wha?" He started.

"Don't worry Hajime-chan," Akaya said, "He'll... notice you... someday...maybe...probably no."

Mizuki glared at Fuji's back, about to say something when Akaya interrupted him. "Look on the bright side Hajime-chan. You'll always be Yuuta's Bitch." Akaya smiled devilishly at his cousin. Fuji's ears twitched, "Yuuta's...bitch...?" He growled. He gave the...uh... purple guy a glare. A Fuji (tm) glare. A very evil glare indeed. The last time he glared like this, the guy who was being glared at left Japan, never to been seen again... Mizuki gulped and took a step back.

"N-no you see...umm." Akaya snickered. Mizuki would've let out a girly scream if SOME people weren't here. Like Niou Masaharu... He just backed a bit. Akaya interfered with Mizuki's escape by placing a hand on his back and pushing forward, though not before whispering something.

"You'll have to face your fears sometimes Hajime-chan." Most everyone heard it because it wasn't that quiet of a whisper. Fuji glared. Mizuki trembled.

"Yuuta's...Bitch?!" He asked, "If I had known that YOU, who ever you are, were there. I would've made Yuuta stay." Fuji got closer. Mizuki let out a girl scream. Akaya just smirked at the funny scene that's happening.

"Akaya... this is a good time to help your great older cousin..." Akaya looked confused.

"I have to help?"

"YES YOU HAVE TO HELP!!! AND NOW IS A GOOD TIME!!!" Mizuki yelled. Akaya yawned, "Nah... Make an appointment and I'll help."

"WHAT?!...uhoh...GAHHHH!!!" This scene has been deleted since Fuji was "killing" Mizuki.

Marui winced..."Never knew that Fuji could cause that much harm to someone." Akaya laughed.

"Never knew Hajime-chan could twist like that.""Look mommy! That guy is acting like an acrobat!" A small 6 years old pointed to Mizuki. His mom covered his eyes, "Let's let the onii-sans practice their 'acrobats' ok?"

"Did someone say... acrobats?" Gakuto asked. He had popped out of nowhere, he was also with Yuushi. "Acrobatics? Mizuki? Ha! I can do better!" Mizuki fell on the ground in a heap and watched Fuji walk back towards Tezuka, smiling. Mizuki glared at Gakuto, got up from the ground and then turned around to focus his glare on Akaya. Akaya just looked at Mizuki, "What?" "Teme! You could've helped." Mizuki started. Akaya shrugged and looked away towards his Buchou and Fuku-Buchou.

"Ah...gomen, gomen." Akaya said unconvincingly. Gakuto kept rambling on about how he was the greatest at acrobatics and Kikumaru Eiji couldn't beat him and how he and Oshitari are best friends and have a better relationship than Kikumaru and Oishi. Eiji, having the sharp ears that he does, almost immediately showed up when his name was called.

"Nyaaa! Did some say my name nya?" Oishi ran up to Eiji, "Eiji! Don't run so fast! That lady almost fell down! You have to be careful!"

"Saa, everyone is here." Fuji said. Mizuki growled, annoyed that once again he was being ignored.

"I told you, Choutaro, that those fan girls are crazy!" Shishido said.

"But Shishido-san! Those girls were chasing after us and shouting 'SILVER PAIR!' That's not normal!" Choutaro said. Shishido frowned.

"They just think we're so good at tennis that they decided to name us!"

"A-ano Shishido-san-""Trust me, Choutaro! When have I ever been wrong?"

"Ore-sama can think up quite a few times actually." Atobe appeared with Kabaji at his side as usual. Jiroh lazily followed along yawning. Shishido glared at Atobe.

"I didn't know you know how to count! Wow! I thought you made your servants think for you!" Atobe glared and threatened Shishido with his regulars spot while Choutaro and Jiroh tried to get them to stop.

Gakuto laughed heartily at Shishido getting yelled at but stopped when he saw Eiji smirking at him. Gakuto glared at Eiji,"Kikumaru? What are you smirking at? Jealous of mine and Yuushi's love?"

"Nya! Of course not! The only love I see between you two is Oshitari loving Atobe and you loving tennis!" Taunted Eiji. Imaginary lightning flashed, Gakuto was twitching like mad.

"Oh yeah?... well... well... you're stupid!" Shishido coughed.

"Nice..." Gakuto whirled around with a comeback on the tip of his tongue but stopped when he saw two people coming down the street...fighting.

"STUPID MAMUSHI!!"

"FSUUUUU."

"Eh? Momo-chin?" Eiji pushed Gakuto's head down to get a better view. Gakuto was furious, "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Sanada twitched dangerously as Yukimura patted his arm to calm him down."Now, now Gen-chan...I'm sure that in a few moments this will all blow over."

"Getting bored by the second here..." Niou said. "Hey Akaya, can I make a rumor of you and a guy?" Akaya turned around and faced Niou, "What do you mean me and a guy?" Everyone fell silent... Niou wasn't the epitome of quiet after all.

"I'm going to... uh... buy some gum." Marui said, the silence was getting to him. He walked over to Jiroh and dragged him away.

"Hey! Come back here with Ore-sama's Jiroh! Kabaji get him."

"Usu!" Kabaji raced off after the running pair as Atobe glared feebly at Shishido. Shishido smirked,"Wow Atobe. You took care of Jiroh so much that he got dragged off by some weird pink headed bubble gum chewing guy!"

"Ore-sama is this close from kicking you off Ore-sama's tennis team!" Atobe held out his hand with two of his fingers less than an inch apart. Choutaro walked over to Atobe.

"Well! If you take Shishido-san off the team, you take me out! Come on Shishido-san! Let's get out of his UGLY team!" Atobe looked startled for a second and then flicked his hair back. Eiji grinned.

"Well you can always go to Rikkaidai...everyone knows they're doubles sucks." Niou twitched, "Oh yeah? Well... you're a Jiroh molester!" Oishi looked appaled.

"EIJI!" He yelled.

"Nyaa! I didn't do anything!" Eiji shouted, cat ears and a tail popping up. Yagyuu pushed his glasses up.

"I don't even know why I'm here..." Tezuka nodded,"Neither do I." Niou slung an arm around his partner and winked.

"C'mon Hiroshi you're here for moral support." Yagyuu pulled Niou's arm off,"Ask Akaya for your support." Niou pouted.

"Why am I suddenly involved?"

Akaya asked. Fuji looked at Tezuka for a long hard moment and then smiled his Fuji smile (tm). Gakuto was still in his "lighting flash" stage, "Stupid... gahh... pth... derrr..." He muttered. Of course, he couldn't say much since every brain cell in his head was working too hard. Not saying that he DOES have brain cells.

"Fuji...stop it." Fuji kept on smiling through Tezuka's glare (tm).

"Saa...stop what Tezuka?" Fuji asked. Yuuta rolled his eyes at his Aniki, who had a tight grip on his wrist and glanced at Mizuki for help. Mizuki wasn't looking though he had turned his back on Yuuta and was walking towards his...cousin.

"Akaya," Mizuki started. "Lets leave." Akaya looked at his cousin confused.

"Leave?" Akaya asked.

"Yes, leave as in go." Mizuki said. Yukimura, pulling Sanada along with him, suddenly appeared next to Akaya.

"Akaya. What are you doing here?" He asked, seemingly not seeing Mizuki. Akaya stared dumbfounded at his buchou.

"Ano...how long have you been here Buchou?" Akaya asked. Niou twitched, "Brat! I told you a while ago! I said, BUCHOU AND FUKU BUCHOU ARE DATING!" Akaya gasped and tears build up in his eyes.

"Buchou how could you!!!" He cried out. You could hear SanaYuki fangirl squealing down the street. You could also hear Uke Pair fans crying and shouting, "How could you, Yukimura-sama!" Mizuki pat his cousin's back, "There there." He said, comforting his cousin. Akaya glared at Sanada and turned his back on the pair, much to Yukimura's confusion and Sanada's embaressment. Eiji suddenly appeared at Akaya's shoulder.

"Nya! That's so mean! Hurting poor Aka-chan like that." Oishi tugged at Eiji's arm, "C- C'mon now Eiji, it's none of our buisness."

Gakuto was still stammering, "Uh... Eiji... pth... dumb?...stupid...?...bah..." He started to speak gibberish. Yuushi glared at Eiji, "You made Gakuto go crazy.

"Nya?" Eiji said, waaay confused, Oishi hung his head in defeat. Yuushi had his hand around Gakuto waist, "Gakuto, are you ok?" Gakuto was still stammering..."Teddy bear!" He exclaimed randomly

"OI!! What the hell are you kids doing hanging around my shop damnit?!?!?" Everyone heard the voice yell and they all whipped around to see a man swinging a broom at them. Gakuto screamed, "GAHHH!!! EVIL BROOM!" The man looked puzzled,"Who's there?" He asked feeling around with the broom, blind I guess...

"Ne, Kuni-chan, I feel as though we aren't getting any attention. Kiss me." Fuji said. Tezuka started at Fuji for a long time, "No." Fuji smiled, raised up on his tiptoes, and kissed Tezuka anyway. Gakuto yelled, "AHHH!!!! KISSY BEAR!" Yuushi covered Gakuto's mouth. Fuji pulled back and relished in Tezuka's blush Eiji stared wildly at Gakuto, "Is he going to be ok?" He looked at Tezuka and Fuji, "... THAT WAS CUTE, NYA!" Kaidoh stared wide eyed at his Buchou and sempai and secretly snuck a look at Inui...it wasn't all that secretive. Inui looked at Kaidoh,"What? You want to try my new improved Inui Hyper sparkle remix?" Kaidoh blanched and slowly backed away.

"Fsshhuuuuu." Fuji smiled,"Saa, a new Inui juice? Is it good?" Tezuka dropped his head in his hands. "If it's not..." He glared his FUJI (TM) glare at Inui, "...well... let's just say... hehehe..." Inui flashbacked to the time when Fuji was knocked out by his AOZU drink and nodded, scared.

"Ore-sama will NOT be ignored!" Atobe cried.

"Mada mada da ne, Inui-sempai." Echizen said over Atobe. Mizkui muttered to Atobe, "Join the club Keigo." Atobe twitched, "Ore-sama wishes to NOT be ignored. I don't like your clothes!" Mizuki glared his not very scay (tm) glare and walked away towards Yuuta. Fuji stuck out his foot and tripped Mizkui, who fell to the ground swearing.

"You BITCH!!"

"Ore-sama will not be forgotten!" He cried. "Ore-sama has thought of a great idea!" He marched to Sanada. Sanada gave Atobe a weird look. Atobe grabbed Sanada's hand and started to tango. Unfoutunatly... no one noticed. Except Yukimura. Yukimura was just laughing at Sanada's misfortune. Akaya stared at the two tangoing and then at Niou, back and forth he looked, and then he snapped. KABOOM!

"NIOU!!! YOU BAKA!!!" Niou glanced over at Akaya.

"Don't call me an baka...baka." He said. Akaya glared at Niou, "BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA!!!!!" Niou grabbed him in a headlock, much to the displeasure of Yagyuu. Yagyuu walked over to Niou, "Niou is a baka."

"Eh?" Niou said looked reeeaallly confused, Yagyuu was secretly glaring at Niou. "But ...but ...but Hiroshi!! You're supposed to side with me!! I've done so much for you!!" Yagyuu rolled his eyes.

"You call pulling me out of my golfing and making me pick up tennis doing something for me?" Niou nodded, "YES!!! AREN'T I GREAT!?" Cue the chibi hug! Akaya dashed behind Yukimura, hiding."Ara?" Niou glanced around for his Kohai who was now missing. Yukimura was just smiling mysteriosly.


End file.
